


Five Blue Objects

by kickassfu



Series: the boys and their mental illnesses - modern au [2]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Geralt's POV, M/M, geralt has a panic attack, if you can't handle that don't read this, keep yourselves safe, part of a series, you don't need to read the first part to read this one tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:00:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23553430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassfu/pseuds/kickassfu
Summary: It’s certainly tempting, and for a second he actually considers it, instead he laughs quietly kissing Jaskier’s head, “You’ll get over it eventually. Love you.”“Not fair,” Geralt hears Jaskier mumble into his pillow as he gets dressed in his exercise clothes, “love you too.”
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: the boys and their mental illnesses - modern au [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695214
Comments: 14
Kudos: 363





	Five Blue Objects

**Author's Note:**

> A friend asked for more of these two boys in the modern AU + panic attack. So it's what I'm doing! Hopefully I did it justice, if not I apologize! Please take care of yourselves.

The day starts out really well. A sunny, warm day, feeling Jaskier hug his back as he comes out of a deep sleep? It’s close to pretty damn perfect. And Geralt lets himself stay in bed for five extra minutes, enjoying the moment a little longer. But he has a routine, breaking out of it usually messes up his whole day, but as he goes to get up, Jaskier curls around him even more, “Don’t abandon me. You are a cruel man.”

It’s certainly tempting, and for a second he actually considers it, instead he laughs quietly kissing Jaskier’s head, “You’ll get over it eventually. Love you.”

“Not fair,” Geralt hears Jaskier mumble into his pillow as he gets dressed in his exercise clothes, “love you too.”

A surge of unabashed love rises in his chest, and he wants to burrow deep under the covers cuddling up to the man who he loves so much. But a good routine keeps the brain working better, he needs that.

He’s tried to get Jaskier to exercise with him, and he laughed in his face, then fell prey to Geralt’s puppy dog face for a couple of days, and then refused to do it ever again. It’d be a nice routine they could both do together, but he isn’t about to force Jaskier to do it. Even though his company would make it much better.

* * *

It’s date night, which means it’s movie night at home, because Geralt doesn’t particularly like crowds and Jaskier respects it. Actually Jaskier also really likes it when it’s just the two of them. Sometimes they go out, if they have agreed to it in advance, but for the most part it’s a nice dinner at home where they cook together, and then one of them gets to choose a movie.

It’s Jaskier’s turn to choose, “I haven’t seen this movie in years, and I love it so much, it’s a bloody masterpiece. So, Matilda it is.”

“Never seen it.”

At that Jaskier’s little offended gasp, as he puts his hand to his chest, is kind of adorable.“You- you’ve never seen it? _Geralt!_ You need to watch it.”

“ _Hm._ ” Geralt stares at him, amused, “I’m just waiting for you to press play.”

Covering both of them with a blanket, even though it’s still very warm, Jaskier puts the bowl of popcorn on top of his legs as he cuddles next to Geralt; his head on Geralt’s shoulder, he finally says, satisfied, “ _Now_ I can press play.”

It looks like a kid movie, and Geralt lets himself relax until-

Well, until it starts. Until it shows Matilda’s childhood, and the abuse she suffers. Until it all hits a little too close to home and-

He tries to control it. He really does. But his heart starts beating so fucking fast, like a bloody jackhammer, like it’s going to explode right out of his chest and he just can’t-

He can’t.

Because he can’t breathe.

As much as he tries to get air in his lungs, they don’t work properly. And he’s going to die. Geralt feels like he’s going to die, there’s no way out of this one. This is the one that finally does him in. He needs to do something, he needs-

Jaskier’s there, kneeling right in front of him, grabbing his shaking hands trying to talk to him. But he can’t pay attention; everything is too much and-

“Geralt. Honey. Listen to me, listen to my voice ok?”

He’s trying, he’s really trying.

_Fuck._

“Try to breathe more slowly. Try to copy me.” Jaskier says, as he grabs Geralt’s chin, so he looks at him. He inhales slowly, and then exhales.

Inhales….exhales….inhales....exhales

Geralt copies him, but it still comes out far too quick, and he hates this. It’s painful and awful, and he fucking hates it all.

“It’s ok. Look at me. Do what I’m doing.”

_Inhale…_

...exhale…

_….inhale…_

...exhale

Somehow, his breathing does start to calm down, not completely but he can finally breathe. He stupidly glances at the TV, and Jaskier must have realized what was happening, because it’s off. It’s still too much, the memories, the _feelings_ , everything sucks.

“Try to find 5 blue objects in this room, and say them out loud.” Jaskier is still holding his hands, trying to help him ground himself in reality instead of panic. He can do that, he can find 5 blue objects.

Looking around he starts listing off, “The curtains, the couch,” his heart starts to slow down as he starts to focus on something else, “the pineapple candle, that fault in our stars book that made you cry-”

“Well that’s unnecessary information.” he can hear Jaskier grumble, and if it wasn’t for the situation at hand, he’d have laughed. There’s plenty of blue around, and golden. Geralt’s favorite color is blue, and Jaskier’s is golden.

“and your eyes.” he finishes, still shaking, nauseous.

_Alive._

It’s not his first panic attack, he should have known he’d be fine and still…

Jaskier is stroking his cheek, and any other time it’d feel nice, _but_ , “Sorry.” he says pushing his hand away.

He seems to understand it, and gives Geralt space to breathe. Wouldn’t do any good to crowd him, after all. Geralt can hear Jaskier leave (purposefully being more noisy than usual) even as he focus on getting back to normal, making noise in the kitchen, and then being back at his side with a glass of water in his hand.

He isn’t sure how much time goes by, before he feels strong enough to talk, move, but through it all Jaskier is there; just a grounding presence. “Thanks.” Geralt says taking the glass of water from Jaskier’s hand, and downing it.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit. I have a headache.” a little voice inside his head tells him he’s being too harsh, when Jaskier’s just trying to be sure he’s better, “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, bollocks. You don’t have to apologize, it was a fairly stupid question anyway.” Geralt knows that Jaskier probably wants to touch him, to be certain that he’s all in one piece, to hug him and kiss him. Can see it from the way he’s crossing his arms, trying to keep them still.

He’s not there yet, but he can at least hold his hand. And Geralt does, after he pries it off beneath Jaskier’s arm.

They live in that quietness for a while.

“I think we should sleep early today. I’m tired.” Jaskier yawns, and Geralt can’t tell if it’s a real yawn or not.

“ _Hm.”_

Getting up, Jaskier tries to pull Geralt up, “Come on. I’ll tuck you in, my beautiful, lovely, hot beefcake of a man.”

“Pick me up then.” Geralt challenged.

“Ha, your muscles are too bloody heavy. I would walk two steps with you in my arms, and we’d fall on our arses.” Jaskier’s huffing and puffing, unable to get the man he loves to get up, much less pick him up. Maybe one day.

“That’s why you should exercise with me.”

“ _Fine_ , if you get up and come to bed, you may wake me up tomorrow.” oh he’s so going to regret agreeing with this.

“Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also kickassfu on tumblr~~


End file.
